Family Law Mediation in Johannesburg
From divorce conflict to a workable way forward
Turning conflict into a conversation
Family law mediation in Johannesburg offers separating parents and couples a structured way to discuss difficult family decisions. It can help you work through parenting plans, care and contact arrangements, communication and other practical issues arising from separation or divorce.
A divorce can become a war.
There are sides to take, positions to defend and battles to win. And even when one person feels that they have won, the conflict rarely ends there.
Because other people are involved.
Extended family. Friends. And, most importantly, children.
Everyone has to continue living in a new reality after a relationship ends. When children are involved, parents also have to find a way to continue parenting together, even though they are no longer together as a couple.
Family mediation offers another way.
Mediation reframes separation and divorce from a battle into a structured conversation. It gives two people the opportunity to work through difficult decisions, negotiate practical arrangements and develop a plan for the future.
As a family mediator in Johannesburg and Gauteng, I provide a structured, supported space where both parties can have their say, be heard and work towards arrangements that are realistic and workable for their particular family.
My background as a therapist also means that I understand the emotional realities that accompany the end of a relationship. I can help people communicate through difficult emotions while keeping the practical purpose of mediation in view.
The goal is not to pretend that separation is painless.
It is to help you move through it without allowing conflict to define what comes next.
What is family law mediation?
Family mediation is a structured process in which an impartial mediator helps people experiencing family conflict communicate, negotiate and work towards mutually acceptable arrangements.
Family mediation can be particularly helpful during separation and divorce, where parents need to make decisions about their children and their ongoing relationship as co-parents.
Mediation does not mean that the mediator decides who is right or who wins.
The people involved make the decisions.
The mediator’s role is to provide structure, facilitate communication, identify the issues that need to be resolved and help the parties explore possible solutions.
NABFAM defines family mediation as a process in which one or two impartial mediators assist a couple or family members in discussing family disputes with a view to resolving those issues on an informed basis. This includes divorce mediation and matters involving children, property and finances.
Why Choose Family Law Mediation in Johannesburg?
Going to court is not the only way to resolve the practical issues that arise when a relationship ends.
Mediation gives you an opportunity to participate directly in decisions about your family’s future rather than handing every decision over to a court.
Family mediation can:
- give both parties an opportunity to be heard;
- reduce the need for repeated conflict between parents;
- help parents communicate more constructively;
- focus discussions on practical solutions;
- keep children’s needs at the centre;
- give parents greater control over the arrangements they are creating;
- and help develop agreements that are realistic for the particular family.
Mediation does not guarantee agreement.
It does, however, provide a structured process for trying to reach one.
Family mediation in the shadow of the law
A family mediator works in what is sometimes called “the shadow of the law.”
It means that parents are free to negotiate and make decisions about their family’s future, but the agreements they reach still need to operate within the South African legal framework.
Family mediation involving children is informed by the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 and the Constitution of South Africa.
The Children’s Act sets out parental responsibilities and rights in four areas:
Care
Contact
Guardianship
Maintenance
These four areas can be thought of as the CCGM pillars of parental responsibilities and rights.
Section 18 of the Children’s Act provides that a person may have full or specific parental responsibilities and rights, including the responsibility and right to care for a child, maintain contact with a child, act as guardian and contribute to the child’s maintenance.
These responsibilities are distinct from one another. Care is not the same as contact, and guardianship is not the same as care.
Mediation helps parents understand and negotiate how these responsibilities and rights will work within the particular circumstances of their family.
Care and Contact Mediation
Care and contact are often the most visible issues for parents following separation.
Where will the children live?
How will they spend time with each parent?
How will school mornings, weekends, holidays and special occasions work?
Who will handle transport?
How will arrangements work when a parent’s work schedule changes?
South African law does not simply impose an automatic 50/50 division of care or contact between parents. The appropriate arrangement depends on the circumstances of the particular family and, most importantly, the best interests of the child.
A parenting arrangement may need to take account of:
- where each parent lives;
- each parent’s working hours and responsibilities;
- the children’s school and activities;
- their ages and developmental needs;
- transport and travel;
- important relationships with family members;
- existing court orders;
- safety concerns or other relevant circumstances; and
- what arrangement is realistically sustainable for everyone involved.
The aim is to develop a parenting arrangement that works in real life, rather than one that simply looks fair on paper.
Guardianship and decision making
Guardianship is a separate component of parental responsibilities and rights.
It concerns important legal responsibilities and decision-making relating to a child.
Where parents share parental responsibilities and rights, they may need to agree on how significant decisions about their children will be made.
These may include matters relating to education, healthcare and other major aspects of a child’s life.
The Children’s Act also provides for children’s views to be considered in appropriate circumstances when important decisions affecting them are being made.
Family Law Mediation in Johannesburg can give parents a structured opportunity to discuss how these decisions will be managed in the future, particularly where communication has become difficult.
Parenting plans and the best interests of the child
A parenting plan is much more than a timetable showing which parent has the children on which days.
It is an opportunity to establish a framework for how parents will continue to parent after separation.
A parenting plan may address matters such as:
- where children will live;
- care and contact arrangements;
- school and education;
- holidays and special occasions;
- communication between parents;
- decision-making;
- practical arrangements and transport;
- maintenance; and
- other matters relating to parental responsibilities and rights.
The Children’s Act provides for parenting plans in sections 33 and 34 and requires them to be guided by the best interests of the child. The Act also provides for assistance with parenting plans through appropriate professionals and mediation.
Keeping a child’s best interests at the centre means asking more than:
“What is fair to the parents?”
It means asking:
What does this child actually need?
What helps them feel secure?
How can their important relationships be maintained?
How can parents reduce their exposure to conflict?
How can parents communicate without placing the child in the middle?
These questions are at the heart of child-centred family mediation.
Children should not have to choose a side
One of the most important things parents can do during separation is to protect their children from the burden of adult conflict.
Children should not be asked to report on the other parent, defend one parent to the other, or feel responsible for keeping everyone happy.
And where it is safe and appropriate, children should be allowed to love both parents.
Children’s views can be important when decisions are being made about their lives, and South African family-law processes recognise the importance of hearing children’s views in an age- and developmentally appropriate way.
A child being heard does not mean making the child responsible for deciding what happens.
The goal is to make sure that the child’s experience is not invisible.
Child participation
In appropriate circumstances, child participation can form part of a family mediation process.
A child participation process provides an appropriate opportunity for the child’s experiences, needs and views to be heard and considered.
A child should never have to choose between parents or make decisions about what should happen.
This is particularly important because children can experience separation and divorce very differently from their parents.
Children deserve to have a voice. They should never have to choose a side in order to be heard.
Child Participation Interviews for Family Mediators
I offer Child Participation Interviews as a referral service to family mediators. If you are facilitating a family mediation and believe that hearing from the child could assist parents in developing an appropriate parenting plan or making decisions about their future arrangements, I can undertake the child participation component as an independent professional.
The interview is conducted within the framework agreed with the referring mediator, with the child’s wellbeing and best interests at the centre. The aim is to communicate the child’s perspective without placing the child in the middle of the parental dispute or making them responsible for the decisions that adults need to make.
If you are a family mediator who does family law mediation in Johannesburg or Gauteng and would like to refer a child for a Child Participation Interview as part of your mediation, please get in touch to discuss how I can support your process.
Find out more about my work with children.
Children should not have to choose a side
One of the most important things parents can do during separation is to protect their children from the burden of adult conflict.
Children should not be asked to report on the other parent, defend one parent to the other, or feel responsible for keeping everyone happy.
And where it is safe and appropriate, children should be allowed to love both parents.
Children’s views can be important when decisions are being made about their lives, and South African family-law processes recognise the importance of hearing children’s views in an age- and developmentally appropriate way.
A child being heard does not mean making the child responsible for deciding what happens.
The goal is to make sure that the child’s experience is not invisible.
Child participation
In appropriate circumstances, child participation can form part of a family mediation process.
A child participation process provides an appropriate opportunity for the child’s experiences, needs and views to be heard and considered.
A child should never have to choose between parents or make decisions about what should happen.
This is particularly important because children can experience separation and divorce very differently from their parents.
Children deserve to have a voice. They should never have to choose a side in order to be heard.
Child Participation Interviews for Family Mediators
I offer Child Participation Interviews as a referral service to family mediators. If you are facilitating a family mediation and believe that hearing from the child could assist parents in developing an appropriate parenting plan or making decisions about their future arrangements, I can undertake the child participation component as an independent professional.
The interview is conducted within the framework agreed with the referring mediator, with the child’s wellbeing and best interests at the centre. The aim is to communicate the child’s perspective without placing the child in the middle of the parental dispute or making them responsible for the decisions that adults need to make.
If you are a family mediator who does Family Law Mediation in Johannesburg or Gauteng and would like to refer a child for a Child Participation Interview as part of your mediation, please get in touch to discuss how I can support your process.
Find out more about my work with children.
What can family mediation help with?
Family mediation can assist parents and separating couples to work through issues including:
Parenting plans
Developing a structured plan for how parental responsibilities and rights will be exercised following separation or divorce.
Care and contact arrangements
Working out practical arrangements for where children live and how they spend time with each parent.
Child participation
Where appropriate, providing a structured opportunity for children’s views and experiences to be heard in an age- and developmentally appropriate way.
Communication between parents
Developing clearer ways of communicating about children and managing disagreements after separation.
Decision-making and guardianship
Working through how important decisions concerning children will be approached and managed.
Separation arrangements
Working through practical issues that need to be resolved when a relationship ends.
Where legal documentation needs to be prepared or finalised for court purposes, I work with appropriately qualified legal professionals where necessary.
What about maintenance?
Maintenance is one of the four areas covered by parental responsibilities and rights under the Children’s Act.
Gillian Brollo is not currently offering child maintenance mediation as a standalone service. However, maintenance may form part of the broader conversation when parents are developing a parenting plan and considering how the practical needs of their children will be met.
When maintenance is being addressed, the starting point is the actual cost of caring for the children and the financial means of the parents.
This can include education, medical expenses, food, clothing, accommodation, transport, activities and other appropriate expenses.
The principle is not simply to divide a figure in half. Parents’ respective financial circumstances and ability to contribute need to be considered.
A sustainable parenting arrangement needs to be realistic for both parents and meet the needs of the children.
Why Choose Gillian Brollo as Your Family Mediator?
Family mediation requires more than an understanding of the law.
Separation and divorce are emotional experiences. Anger, grief, fear, disappointment and uncertainty can make it extremely difficult for people to have productive conversations about practical issues.
My work brings together family law mediation and therapeutic experience.
As a therapist, I understand how emotions can affect communication and decision-making. As a family mediator, I provide the structure and boundaries needed to move difficult conversations towards practical agreements.
This combination allows me to help parents:
- slow down heated conversations;
- identify the issues that actually need to be resolved;
- communicate more effectively;
- separate emotional conflict from practical decision-making;
- keep children’s needs in view; and
- develop arrangements that are workable beyond the mediation room.
Not everyone agrees about what happened in the past.
Mediation helps you make decisions about the future.
Accredited family mediator in Johannesburg
I am a member of the South African Association of Mediators (SAAM) and a NABFAM-accredited family mediator.
NABFAM is the National Accreditation Board for Family Mediators. It establishes national accreditation standards for family mediators in South Africa and maintains a national register of accredited family mediators. Its current national standards include requirements relating to mediator training, accreditation, professional conduct and continuing professional development.
SAAM is a professional mediation organisation and a founding member of NABFAM. It promotes mediation as a structured approach to resolving family disputes and maintains standards for mediator accreditation.
Professional accreditation matters because family mediation involves sensitive decisions about children, relationships and family life.
You want a mediator who understands not only the process of mediation, but also the professional and legal framework within which family mediation takes place.
Family law mediation in Johannesburg and Gauteng
If you are separating or divorcing in Johannesburg or elsewhere in Gauteng, family mediation can provide an alternative to immediately turning every disagreement into a legal battle.
You do not have to agree about everything before you begin.
You simply need to be willing to have the conversation.
Mediation can help you create a structured process for working through the practical decisions that separation requires — while keeping the wellbeing of your children and the realities of your new family structure in view.
You cannot change what happened in the relationship. But you can have a say in what happens next.
Frequently asked questions about family mediation
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a structured process in which an impartial mediator helps family members communicate, negotiate and work towards mutually acceptable arrangements.
In separation and divorce, family mediation can help parents make decisions about children, parenting arrangements and other practical issues arising from the end of a relationship.
The mediator does not decide who is right or impose an outcome. The parties remain responsible for the decisions they make.
What does a family mediator do?
A family mediator provides structure to difficult conversations.
The mediator helps identify the issues that need to be resolved, facilitates communication, keeps discussions focused and helps the parties explore possible solutions.
A mediator does not act as a judge and does not represent either party.
Can family mediation help us create a parenting plan?
Yes.
Parenting plans can address practical arrangements concerning children, including care, contact, residence, communication, schooling, holidays, decision-making and other parental responsibilities and rights.
The Children’s Act provides for parenting plans and requires the best interests of the child to be considered.
Does family mediation mean we have to have a 50/50 parenting arrangement?
No.
There is no automatic requirement that parents divide care or contact equally.
The appropriate arrangement depends on the circumstances of the family and the best interests of the child. Factors such as the child’s age and needs, school, each parent’s circumstances, geographical location, work commitments and existing arrangements may all be relevant.
The purpose of mediation is to help parents develop an arrangement that is workable and appropriate for their particular family.
Is family mediation legally binding?
Mediation itself is a process for reaching agreement. The legal effect of an agreement depends on the nature of the agreement and the steps taken to formalise or register it.
Where appropriate, agreements may need to be reviewed by independent legal practitioners and/or made an order of court.
This is why family mediation works within the “shadow of the law”: mediation gives people the opportunity to negotiate their own arrangements, but those arrangements must still comply with applicable law.
Do I need a lawyer if I use a family mediator?
Mediation and legal advice serve different purposes.
A mediator is neutral and cannot act as the lawyer for either party. Each person may therefore choose to obtain independent legal advice, particularly before signing a settlement agreement or parenting plan.
Where documents need to be finalised for court purposes, I work with appropriately qualified legal professionals where necessary.
What happens if we cannot agree?
Mediation does not guarantee that an agreement will be reached.
If some or all issues remain unresolved, the parties can consider their other options, including obtaining independent legal advice or approaching the appropriate court or other dispute-resolution process.
Even when complete agreement is not possible, mediation can sometimes help narrow the issues that remain in dispute.
Can children participate in family mediation?
Yes, and they should be involved. Children’s views may be included in a family mediation process where this is appropriate for their age, maturity, developmental needs and circumstances. Child participation should be handled carefully and should not place the child in the position of choosing between parents or deciding the outcome. The purpose is to ensure that the child’s experience and views can be considered without transferring adult responsibility to them.
Where do you offer family mediation?
I offer family mediation in person in Emmarentia, Johannesburg or online.
Ready to have the conversation?
Separation and divorce can be difficult without adding unnecessary conflict.
If you are struggling to agree about parenting, care and contact, communication or the practical arrangements following separation, family mediation may provide a structured way forward.
Contact Gillian Brollo to discuss whether family mediation could help your family.
I offer a free 15 minute consultation online to answer any questions and discuss your particular needs.
Family mediation is not a substitute for independent legal advice. Where appropriate, each party should have the opportunity to obtain independent legal advice before entering into a settlement agreement or parenting plan.
A different way forward
Gillian Brollo
Family Law Mediator | Therapist
WhatsApp: 076 600 2592 (text only)
Email: gillian@boldtherapy.co.za
Professional credentials
Accredited with NABFAM through SAAM
Panel Member, Mediation Pan African
Participant in a ProBono.org project at the Children's Court, Protea, Soweto
Registered with the HPCSA
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